Overnight Camps Nurture Independence

Sending your grandchild away to an overnight camp may seem like an impossible luxury. But Dr. Christopher Thurber, author of The Summer Camp Handbook, says it may be a luxury you can’t afford to pass up. An overnight camp can provide your grandchild with many benefits, says Thurber. It can nurture his independence and help her develop important social skills. It can also increase a child's self- esteem and self-confidence.

Is Overnight Camp a Good Idea for Your Grandchild?

Most children are ready to spend time away from home by age 7, says Thurber. Two weeks away can provide a child with a sense of belonging and independence, he says. Consider a shorter session if it's your grandchild's first time away from home.

Thurber says he knows that a grandchild usually comes to live with a grandparent because of a stressful family event. These stresses must be taken into consideration when deciding if a child is ready for overnight camp. But, he says, don’t assume that a child should stay close to home because his or her family is going through a rough time.

"Just because a child has recently gone to live with grandma and grandpa doesn’t mean that camp should be crossed off the list of summer activities," says Thurber. "In fact, going away to camp could be the best thing for that child."

Thurber says grandparents can decide whether the time is right for overnight camp by asking themselves two questions:

First, is the child interested in going to camp? Involving the child in the decision to go away helps protect that child from being homesick later on, says Thurber.

Second, have you answered all the child's questions about the move to your house? "You can think of a thousand questions that kids would have when their living situation changes," says Thurber. "Will I ever see Dad again? Am I living with grandma and grandpa for good? Will I be going to a different school? You have to make sure that most questions get answered before the child goes to camp. Children who still have lots of lingering questions and worries are most likely to be homesick."

If you decide that your grandchild isn’t ready for overnight camp, perhaps a day camp experience would be a better option this summer, suggests Thurber. Next summer you can talk about overnight camp.

Can you afford it?

Overnight camps can cost anywhere from $250 to $1,200 a week. Don’t automatically write off an expensive camp that you think is right for your grandchild, says Thurber. Most camps and some community organizations offer scholarships to help campers who can't afford to pay full price. Scholarships usually aren’t advertised. You'll have to ask about them. Try these fund-raising strategies:

Call the camp director. Before you even fill out the application, call the camp and ask to speak directly to the camp director (not the secretary). Explain your family circumstances. Tell the director that you'd like to enroll your grandson or granddaughter, but you can't afford to pay the full fee. Be sure to tell the camp director how much you can contribute to the camp's tuition. "Camp directors feel more generous when people offer to pay at least part of it," says Thurber. If the camp director has no scholarships left for this year, ask about next year.

Look for scholarships in your community. Very often, local organizations can help you send your grandchild to camp. Try contacting the local Kiwanis or Rotary clubs, your grandchild's school, your Area Agency on Aging, or the local Grandparent Resource Center. Again, these scholarships usually aren’t advertised. You'll need to ask if these organizations would be willing to sponsor (or partially sponsor) your grandchild's summer camp experience.

Ask other family members. Aunts, uncles, or the other set of grandparents may be willing to pool their resources to send a child to camp, says Thurber. In addition, your grandchild may be able to contribute a small amount toward the cost of camp. This contribution may not make a big difference financially, but it really helps the child appreciate the camp experience, says Thurber.

Healthy Relationships

Many grandparents worry that sending a child away to camp will cause them to grow apart, says Thurber. But, he says, it's really quite the opposite. Having time away from one another can make the relationship between child and grandparent even stronger.

"Grandparents appreciate the respite," says Thurber. "They welcome their grandchildren back with a renewed sense of energy and direction. And when they're away, kids become more appreciative of the things that their grandparents do for them."

Connecticut Program Pays for Camp

Some Connecticut grandparents are getting financial help to send a grandchild to day and overnight camps. GRASP (Grandparents Respite Activity Support Program) also helps caregivers and children take educational cruises, and even pays for child care. Low-income custodial grandparents age 60 and over can apply for the respite grants.

GRASP is funded by the South Central Connecticut Agency on Aging. It is administered by the Consultation Center in New Haven. For more information, call program coordinator Harold Hutchinson at 203-789-7645 on Monday or Thursday.

More Information about Overnight Camps

For more information about choosing a summer camp:
Get a copy of The Summer Camp Handbook by Christopher Thurber and Jon Malinowski (Perspective Publishing) at your local library or bookstore, or visit wwwcampspirit.corn. Click on "The Summer Camp Handbook."

Visit the American Camping Association at www.acacamps.org/parents. The ACA maintains a nationwide database of camps. It also publishes a guide to day and overnight camps that have met the association’s national accreditation standards.

Find a family in your area that has sent a child to overnight camp. Talk to that child's parents and have your grandchild talk to the camper. Veteran campers can often give you information about a camp that you won’t find in a brochure.

Re-printed with permission from the "The GIC Voice", the newsletter of the AARP Grandparent Information Center.

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